Whole Paycheck
I was recently having a conversation with someone about Whole Foods. Or, as some folks I know call it, "Whole Paycheck." Truth is, having dealt with them as a vendor (I've had my Totally Chipotle products on their shelves) and as a performer (one suburban Chicago store wanted me to perform for a grand opening event recently), I have a completely different perspective of this company than what most of their customers probably do. And check out this article at Slate.com for another opinion.
Fact is, the Whole Foods staff culture kind of remind me of followers of the Grateful Dead - although I concede there's probably not so many drugs involved with WF. To me, beyond the GD "experience," the Dead's primary purpose these days is giving mediocre and beginning musicians hope: "Hey, I can play and sing as good as that!" Although I do like some of their studio efforts & tunes, as far as their live shows go: 1. They're rarely in tune 2. You pretty much HAVE to be high to enjoy musicians who play/sing out of tune and 3. They're definitely contrary to the notion that a song needs a beginning, middle and end to actually BE a song.
Whether or not you agree with these observations, it's interesting to experience the reaction from Deadheads if you DARE say this kind of stuff about the band. Beyond their outward philosophy of "peace, love, drugs, grooviness," I've had more than a few 'heads get downright violent defending them. I've truly felt things were leading to fisticuffs by stating my opinion to some fans (anyone else out there have a similar reaction?). Dealing with Whole Foods kind of reminds me of that.
In fairness, it's never really a treat dealing with any corporate grocery chain (lots of "little Hitler" egos, jaded/cynical buyers who know there are 100 products vying for 1 slot on their shelf, territorial store managers who hate their customers, but can only release it on vendors and in-store sampling clones, etc.). But I've found Whole Foods takes things to a whole new level, regardless of their hip, groovy, healthy, green, organic, "worldview" outward persona. Check it out:
Although they had gone so far as to list me on their posters, website, etc. for the grand opening of one of their surbuban stores, they never bothered to 1. Get me a contract or 2. Performance deposit - both of which are standard for pro performers. I guess I could have worked with them there, but two things that really made them memorable beyond the "typical" corporate chain experience:
1. Even though there was no sponsor or brand underwriting my show (I've done all kinds of shows highlighting sponsor's products in return for them footing the bill, no problem there), they refused to let me cook with my Totally Chipotle products. Did I mention I'd already had my stuff in their stores? And that I don't do any shows without at least one recipe featuring my brand?
2. They wanted me to carry my own insurance for performing in their store. Even though they wanted me to cook ONLY with their equipment, using products they already carry, under their roof?!?!?! That was, and is, a first-and-only in my experience as a professional entertainer.
Well, I can honestly say that, after having done all kinds of in-store appearances, festival dates, trade shows with big companies including Kraft Foods, Quaker Oats, X-Acto, Sunbeam, Dominick's, Jewel, Kroger and more, Whole Foods definitely takes the cake for being THE most difficult to deal with. Which finally resulted in me blowing off the gig altogether - I think that was a first for me, too.
Finally, I realize that putting this on the worldwide web may not be the wisest decision towards any possibility of dealing with Whole Paycheck again - hell, as long as it wasn't QUITE as bad as eating broken glass, I'd sell them my stuff again - but I hope to always be a least a LITTLE honest with how things really are in the food industry. Regardless of the price of being truthful - loss of income & being blackballed by a big, big corporate food chain.
Labels: corporate groceries, grateful dead, whole foods
I guess the fact that Rolling Stone magazine named Jerry Garcia the 13th best guitar player of all time means nothing to you. I'm sure you could play just as well as him quite easily.
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3:36 PM